a serious post.
it's not much of an avoidance than a mere lack of convenient pondering time to actually craft out a proper post about farewells.
i can't access my other blog for now, so this would have to do.
i thank God for all the things He's given unto me.
this scholarship is the ticket to fulfilling my dreams. i've always, always wanted to do something in the lines of law enforcement and justice. since i was young, i was attracted to the life of a detective. sherlock holmes was a very, very influential figure. i'd train myself to observe mannerisms and such, and an interest in people's psychology developed in me. besides that, i got drawn to logic puzzles. on top of that, i love word search or item search games that required me to use my eyes to complete the tasks. i also enjoy time-management games. justice-wise, i do see the thrill in making sure things are righted, morally. for so long, i've always wanted to do something that would combine these various facets of my personality, into a career that would satisfy that part of me. when i learned about spies, i wanted to be one. although i didn't quite like the grey areas such a career would involve. and my father wanted me in a science stream. when i found out about forensics, i knew that this was the one career i would love. i prayed hard, and sometimes i doubted that this would be my path. =/ but i still wanted it so bad, and kept begging God for it. i knew my parents would probably hesitate on sending me overseas, but i still trusted in His provision. i didn't think it'll come in a way of a scholarship. and being given this golden opportunity really, really opened my eyes to His hand in my life.
my academics... i started off in high school without my usual gang. i was in the second class, and the day that i set off to ask for permission to wear my pendant, i was given the chance to move up to the first class. never looked back since. being in the first class granted me a different outlook. i learned to curb my playfulness at times, and i knew just how to bring my potential to the fullest. He made sure i had plenty of room to grow. always, always when i refused to be in a bleak environment that made me feel like a defeatist, he brought me some place that nourished me just like how i thirsted for. He really amazes me. He shaped me this much. into someone who wouldn't back down. who wouldn't take no for an answer to the question i so desperately need a yes for. who loved changes and challenges. who valued independence and responsibly liberty. even in college, he gave me lecturers who challenged me to strive harder than what i'd like to. He gave me the means to survive, and the will to succeed.
my family. ah. he gave me awesome parents who knew when to poke and prod about my academics. they never pushed me, but allowed me to question the paths that i took. they gave me room for self-doubt. they supported me in everything - my interests, my academics, my co-curriculars. i don't know what i'll do without them. =/ my parents allowed me to be an individual, and allowed me to flourish and bloom wherever i chose to be. my brother was annoying at first, and our relationship took a rather mature turn afterwards. it's great having a younger brother with a sizable age gap who eventually learns to be mature at a young age. =) reduces the problems and headaches.generous uncles and aunts and cousins who were so willing to help with their time and finances. =) wow. i'm amazed at how much my life is crafted for me, rather than crafted BY me.
my friends. i have a few circles of friends, and all have been kind to me. =) one particular group so far has been the optimal type. we get together almost very rarely, but when we do get together, we catch up and are so pretty close. we know each other's quirks and such, and don't actually mind the fact that we don't always look for each other and have other friends. i quite enjoy that. no stress in maintaining such friendships.
alright. when i look back, i'm blown away. i'm blown away at how amazing He is. in doing this for my life. the time and care he took to crafting it. it amazes me at how much i mean to Him, despite the fact that i'm just a speck of the dust. i'm not sad, i won't doubt, i won't be scared or intimidated by the changes i have to make. i shan't complain about the discomfort of getting out of my timezone. i'm putting my full trust in Him. because, if in 2 years, He's conjured so many amazing things, what about 3 years? 5 years down the road, and i'll still be amazed.
i've had some lingering doubts in the past. one of it would be my future career. i know where i'm from, corruption thrives. justice is impaired. i don't want that. i'm not asking for a perfect world, but i'm looking for some glimmer of hope that not all is lost. i wonder just how things will turn out. one of the things i imagined was that i'd work in the INTERPOL. hehe. i'm still hoping. i love travel, and i love new cultures. i love languages. dear God, i'm asking for more opportunities. i wanna be a light for you. Thanks so much. Nothing can surpass what you've done for me. Nothing can surpass your love for me. I'm still mind-bombed.